Why are friendships so important in the first place? We have two vulnerabilities in life - loneliness and insecurity. We need not just a partnership, but a social village. Especially in times of crisis, we also need the recognition and feedback from friends. We live in a time where the significance of friendships is growing from year to year. Because we desire relationships that are both reliable and freely chosen (Redaktion, 2017). Friendships have a bigger impact than you might think at first (DePaulo, 2021):
- We may be happiest when we are with our friends. In a study published in the prestigious journal Science, Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues asked 909 adults to report whom they had been with the previous day and how they felt during each of those interactions. Participants indicated that they were happiest and had the most fun when they were with friends. They also felt the least worried, sad, or angry when they were with friends. Interactions with other people, such as spouses, romantic partners, relatives, children, customers, or coworkers, did not seem to be as emotionally rewarding. The study below shows the correlation of friendships and life satisfaction:
- Using data from a normative sample of 205 children who were followed into adulthood, the following study examined the predictive relationships between three prominent developmental tasks (friendship, academic, behavior) and two emerging tasks (work, romance) during the transitional years around the age of 20 and adjustment as adults 10 years later. Ten years later, friendship skills played a greater role. Those who had a close, trusting friendship in their 20s were more likely to be successful in their careers in their 30s. They also continued to excel in friendships and were successful in romantic relationships. However, the 20-year-olds who were skilled in romance were neither more nor less successful in their careers, friendships, or even love a decade later.
- When we think of a friend, we are more inclined to help a stranger. In the study, individuals who were sitting alone at an airport and were asked to think about a close friend were more willing to help a stranger. There was something significant about the friendship itself. When participants were asked to think about a colleague of equal rank whom they knew well and had a good relationship with (but who was not a friend outside of work), their willingness to help a stranger was not as strong.
- People who feel anxious in social situations are less likely to fidget in those situations when a friend is nearby compared to when they are alone. One reason for this is that fewer negative thoughts about oneself arise when a friend is by one's side.
- Challenges appear less daunting when we are with a friend or even just thinking about a friend. In the study, participants stood either alone or with a friend in front of a hill and then estimated the steepness of the hill. Those who stood with a friend perceived the hill as less steep. In another study, thinking about a friend made a hill seem less steep than thinking about a neutral person or someone they disliked.
- Friends make enemies seem smaller and less intimidating. Men who were with a male friend perceived a potential enemy as smaller and less muscular compared to when they were alone. We tend to present ourselves in a more modest way when interacting with friends, while with strangers, we are more likely to show off.
These were some factors that demonstrate the value and enrichment that friendships can bring. However, it's important to note that there is a flip side as well. Friendships can also be stressful and demanding, especially in challenging situations or when one party is no longer investing in the friendship.
Source: DePaulo, B. (2021, December 16). Do Friends Make Us Happier, Kinder, Stronger, and More Successful? Medium. https://belladepaulo.medium.com/do-friends-make-us-happier-kinder-stronger-and-more-successful-207d116793c8