Friendship, like any meaningful relationship, requires effort and investment. It cannot simply run on autopilot. Instead, it beckons us to show up, reach out, and take responsibility for our role in maintaining it. As renowned researcher Brené Brown suggests, trust is built gradually, akin to adding marbles to a jar, but can also be eroded when we fail to honor our commitments or neglect to be present when needed (Tammy, 2022) :
But what does it mean to "show up"?
First and foremost, it involves establishing firm yet loving boundaries. It entails creating dedicated time for each other in our calendars rather than relying on vague notions of "if you have time." It means openly communicating what is acceptable and what is not, while also respecting the boundaries set by our friends.
Additionally, showing up entails regularly checking in and reaching out. Sometimes, we tend to believe that reconnecting requires grand gestures, such as planning an elaborate weekend getaway. However, something as simple as a phone call while preparing dinner or a thoughtful text saying, "I'm thinking of you. How's life treating you?" is often enough to reignite the conversation and reconnect on a deeper level.
Moreover, it involves practicing reciprocity without keeping score. It's about engaging in a dance of giving and taking, where both individuals feel equally valued and connected to one another.
Ultimately, showing up for our friends conveys the message, "Your life matters to me, and I am willing to invest my time in knowing about it," as author Lydia Denworth beautifully puts it.
Let us remember that friendships are not indulgences or afterthoughts, relegated to the margins of our lives once everything else is taken care of. They are vital to our overall well-being. Whether they accompany us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, friendships weave themselves into the very fabric of our existence, suffusing it with love and meaning.
Source: Tammy. (2022). What You Need To Know About Navigating Adult Friendships. Inner Travel Coaching. https://innertravelcoaching.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-navigating-adult-friendships/