„Schon von alters her wird der Mensch als soziales Wesen verstanden. Der Mensch verwirklicht sich erst in der Kommunikation. Das macht sein Leben aus.“ - Karl H. Delhees-
Thus, the question irrevocably arises, what exactly is this seemingly so elementary component of being human, the communication and how can it be influenced and used?
Human communication is a highly complex entity that consists of several building blocks. The main components are, on the one hand is the content of what is said, the tonality and the body language. As Albert Mehrabian, psychologist and professor, found out in several studies the content has only about 7%, the tonality 38% and the body language 55% influence on how our counterpart perceives us.
Now we know what we need to influence to become a communication hero. But before we start with the content and what to say, I would like to explain to you through the most important axioms of communication, six tangible examples of the impact of these three components.......
6 Fact about communication
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1. First of all, there is the popular axiom "you cannot not communicate". New research points to the consideration of at least six different types of communication with regard to the receiver perspective (sender-receiver model -> Shannon and Weaver 40s)
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2. Furthermore, "You cannot say what you mean" you are physically and mentally incapable of saying exactly what you mean.
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3. "You make people feel what you want them to feel" also notes that everything you do affects how other people feel. For example, if you are crying and meet a happy person, it is likely that your sadness will be transmitted to your communication partner.
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4. One of the most well-known effects is the so-called "primacy effect" (see video short). In principle, person A and B are identical if you disregard the order. But it is precisely this order that is decisive for the first impression.
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5. The fifth point is about respect "Be interested instead of interesting". Be interested in the person you are talking to and ask questions. This is also the focus of Edgar Schein's famous book "Humble inquiry", which we will discuss later under the point "Content of communication".
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6. The fifth point is about respect "Be interested instead of interesting". Be interested in the person you are talking to and ask questions. This is also the focus of Edgar Schein's famous book "Humble inquiry", which we will discuss later under the point "Content of communication".
How to end a conversation with the right communication
Before I get to how you can best end the conversation, I would like to get to the bottom of the cause. Why do conversations not end when the participants want them to? Studies have shown that conversations almost never end when one or even both participants want them to. But what could be the reason for this?
"If each of the two participants has a different expectation of the conversation, it is also difficult to find a common ending. This is accompanied by "The other person does not know what the other wants". These observations were explicitly made regardless of whether the conversation partners knew each other or belonged to the same family. It is very important to get a feeling for when a conversation should end and how this can be done. To this end, let us now turn to the "closing strategies".
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To end a conversation, I would like to present three main strategies. Starting with the "positive face saving strategy". Here you try to end the conversation in such a way that the communication partner has no room for interpretation for doubts or negative thoughts that you want to end the conversation because of him, e.g. because he is boring. Another possibility is the "Combined positive and negative politeness strategies". This is a form where the need to leave is attributed to the other person: "I know you're busy, so I'll let you get back to what you were doing". The last strategy before I move on to the practical examples is the "solidary strategy", the aim of which is to facilitate and initiate the exit from the conversation by planning a new and fixed time for another conversation in advance.
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Positive face saving —> The positive comment (e.g. "It was nice talking to you").
—> The excuse (e.g. "I better get back to work")
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Combined positive and negative politeness —> The positive comment (e.g. "It was nice talking to you").
—> The excuse (e.g. "I better get back to work")
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Solidary strategy —> The positive comment (e.g. "It was nice talking to you").
—> The excuse (e.g. "I better get back to work")
